When it all goes wrong
by alwaysandforeveryou1
Summary: We've all heard about the break up with Joe Jonas & Demi Lovato, We've read the Articles & heard the rumors but follow Demi Lovato herself threw the hurt & heartache of Losing her true love & best friend read her side of the story, how it felt, what when threw her head as her whole life was almost ruined & who will she turn to now that the person she trusted most hurt her most.
1. Breaking up and Finding out

Chapter one

"I don't think this is working" he said looking me dead in the eye

"You're breaking up with me?" I basically stated

"Yeah" he whispered, I felt tears cloud my vision but I wouldn't cry in front of him, not over him

"Joe!" his brother Nick rounded the corner

"Come on we have to do sound check" he urged

"Alright" he said still looking into my eyes and only removed his stare by turning around fading into the craziness of rehearsals

"Demi" I heard Kevin Joe's older brother call my name

"Yeah" I whispered still willing myself not to cry trying to hide the hurt from the rest of the world like I did oh so well most times

"What's wrong?" he asked catching the Breaking in my voice

"Nothing" I said I turned around to face him putting on my fake smile a big huge smile I was now known for

"Demi Lovato don't you lie to me" he stared into my eyes knowing my breaking point was near I tried to change the subject

"Don't you have sound check?" I just kept trying to get away I just kept telling myself all I needed was a few minute's alone and id be fine

"That's why I'm here my dad sent me to get you we want to practice on the line 1st" great a song to sing with my ex who JUST broke up with me

"Um alright lets go" I said just wanting to get this over with Kevin led the way to the stage where Joe nick and the rest of the group was already standing around

"Let's start" I said jumping on stage Kevin following suit Joe just watched me as I took Kevin's water bottle and took a drink

"Okay Joe, Nick let's get this going" Paul told his other sons they got on stage Joe went to one of the mic's and nick got his guitar and stood in front of a mic in one of the stands

"Ready" nick yelled while the band began. Hearing the music I realized this is what I needed and I let myself get lost in the music

[Demi]  
I didn't wanna say 'I'm sorry'  
For breaking us apart  
[Joe]  
I didn't wanna say 'It was my fault'  
Even though I knew it was  
[Demi]  
I didn't wanna call you back  
Cause I knew that I was wrong  
[Demi and Joe]  
Yeah I knew I was wrong

[Chorus:]  
[Demi]  
One in the same  
Never to change  
Our love was beautiful  
[Demi and Joe]  
We got it all  
Destined to fall  
Our love was tragical  
[Joe]  
Wanted to call  
[Demi]  
No need to fight  
[Joe]  
You know I wouldn't lie  
[Demi and Joe]  
But tonight, we'll leave it on the line

[Verse 2:]  
[Demi]  
Listen baby  
[Nick]  
Never would have said 'Forever'  
If I knew it'd end so fast  
[Demi]  
Why did you say 'I love you'  
If you knew it that it wouldn't last  
[Nick]  
Baby I just can't hear what you're saying  
The line is breaking up  
[Demi]  
Or is that just us?  
Or is that just us?

[Chorus:]  
[Demi and Joe]  
One in the same  
Never to change  
our love was beautiful  
we got it all  
Destined to fall

Our love was tragical  
[Joe]  
Wanted to call  
[Demi]  
No need to fight  
[Joe]  
You know I wouldn't lie  
[Demi and Joe]  
But tonight, we'll leave it on the line

[Bridge:]  
[Joe]  
I try to call again  
I get your mailbox  
Like a letter left unread  
[Demi]  
Apologies are often open ended  
[Demi and Joe]  
But this one's better left unsaid

[Chorus:]  
[Demi and Joe]  
One in the same  
Never to change  
Our love was beautiful  
We got it all  
Destined to fall  
Our love was tragical  
[Joe]  
Wanted to call  
[Demi]  
No need to fight  
[Joe]  
You know I wouldn't lie  
[Demi and Joe]  
But tonight, we'll leave it on the line

I let all my hurt anger and passion go into this song,

"Are you done with me now?" please say yessss I prayed

"Yeah dem were done with you be here in like an hour and a half alright?" I nodded

"Bye" I mumbled running out of there when I finally got to my dressing room I went straight to the bathroom and found my hidden razor blade I sat down on the edge of the bath tub slowly running the blade across my wrist pressing it hard I just need some relief, but deep down I'm beating myself up for this because I was stopping, this is the last time I promised myself as I saw the thick red liquid poor from the wound I made 3 more and a J every time I looked down from here on out I would be reminded of the one person I let in and thought wouldn't hurt me and how he ended up wounded me the worst I heard a knock on my door around an hour later, but I freaked out I was still trying to get the blood to stop

"Hold on a minute" I yelled I placed pressure on my wrist and threw a hoodie on hiding the markings, hiding the washcloth under the couch

"Yeah" I said as I open the door and caught sight on who was at the door, there in front of me stood Kevin Nick and Joe Jonas

"Sorry I was changing" I said moving aside to let them in

"No, you weren't you were wearing that earlier" shit I Mumbled as Nick pointed out my lie

"Alright you caught me I was getting high" they just looked at me Kevin pushed me

"Stop that's not funny miss demi look its fine you don't have to tell us why you couldn't come to the door right away" I let out a sigh and side hugged Kevin

"Thanks" I simply said

"What are you doing here?" I asked looking at My Ex-Best fried Ex-lover

"Ugh, um well" he was having trouble coming out with a sentence

"Fine, Nick Kevin…What's up, what's going on?"

"Our dad asked us to come hang with you in here for a little bit he had to fix something or I don't know really he just sent us in here" My attention focused back on Joe

"You didn't tell them?" I asked he just looked at the floor

"Tell us what?" Nick asked

"That Joe and I shouldn't be around each other"

"Why would you say that demi, he's your boyfriend" Kevin asked sounding mad at me

"Not anymore he broke up with me like 5 seconds before rehearsals"

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" Kevin asked Joe, but he just pulled his phone out and started texting someone

"Is that what I interrupted when I came and got him for sound check?" Nick asked sounding guilty

"Nick you didn't interrupt anything he was finished don't worry it's not your fault" I reassured him just as I felt warm blood trickle down my arm I tried to hide it from the boys but if I made a sudden movement they would see it for sure, as I stood as still as possible I looked down slowly to see my blood dripping onto the carpet. Joe looked up at my arm seeing the red liquid and I sent him a glare silently praying he would just let me bleed to death hiding it from his brothers

"Demi" Kevin whispered scared and when I looked over I instantly knew he saw; now everyone in the room saw Nick looked at me

"Demi why is your Arm bleeding?" he asked on the verge of a panic attack

"It's nothing I'm fine" I mumbled as I bent down to grab the washcloth I threw under the couch when I grabbed it I realized it wasn't helping me at all because the once white washcloth was now a vibrant red, and before I could react Kevin was pulling up my sleeve revealing my self inflicted wounds for everyone to see. I knew I cut to bad this time


	2. Okay

Chapter 2

I heard the gasp that they let out, then the disappointed sighs that followed soon after

"How long" Kevin whispered, I just kept staring at the ground not making eye contact

"How long Demi" he yelled trying again I finally looked up

"Since I was 11" my voice broke and I felt the tears weld up in my eyes

"It was right under our nose the whole time? No one ever caught you?" Nick asked

"No" I whispered, I looked at them once more Nick and Kevin giving me the sympathetic looks and Joe just staring at the J I carved into my flesh

"Don't" I mumbled moving to cover up my wrist again the sudden movement made them jump back

"Stop, don't stare at my wrist's or look at me like that, you guys don't know what it's like okay? You weren't made fun of everyday of your life always someone wanting you to be perfect, but perfect doesn't exist! You don't know what it's like for you sister to be a fricken model and your mom a cheerleader you don't know what it's like to hear your parents fight and your mom scream from your dad finally hits her then moves onto you because you're not as pretty as your sister, you don't know what it's like for your mom not to be able to look at you, you don't know how it is to have to be strong never show weakness to not have anyone there for you ever" I just felt a pair of arms circle around me pulling me close to their chest

"I'm so sorry were supposed to be like family I'm supposed to be your big brother and I didn't even notice that you have a problem" I heard Kevin's voice sooth me and I felt Nick rub my back

"I don't have a problem, please don't tell anyone I can stop ill stop please don't tell anyone" I sobbed into Kevin's chest

"I won't tell anyone" I heard Nick say still rubbing my back

"Me either" Kevin whispered into my hair I pulled back from the hug and looked at the one guy I hope this would affect a little to show he still cares about me somewhere but nothing he stared at his phone with a bored expression and that killed me

"I'm going to go run it under some water I'll be right back" I said giving up on Joe caring walking to the Bathroom, but the walls are paper thin and I could hear every word the said

"Joe" Nick whisper yelled followed by silence and a loud smacking noise

"OW!" I heard Joe Voice whisper yell

"What is your problem?" Kevin asked I'm Guessing Joe

"I just…don't want to be here" Joe replied harshly

"Don't you care?" Nick asked the million dollar question

"Care about what?"

"The fact that the girl you've been all crushed out who was your best friend cut Joe let's forget she was your girlfriend up until 2 hours ago" Kevin yelled

"Joe, do you even care?" Nick finished up for Kevin

"She's going to keep doing it No matter what we say so? Why waste my breathe how do I know it's not just for attention?" I was finished washing my wrist by now and right when I was about to get out there and defend myself I heard my name over the loud speaker

"Demi Lovato please report to the stage for sound check…thank you" Great Sound check I walk out of the bathroom and the boys all look at me I throw my bloody hoodie over to the couch and grab a new one

"I got to go so you can stay here if you want I don't care but I'm leaving Bye" I said closing the door behind me not once looking at Joe, when I reach the stage I see my band already tuning their instruments I jump up and get ready to practice before I knew it practice flew by and I could hear the crowd screaming with excitement but I was writing it was my other outlet in the world writing about Joe, my new found pain, helped as I go on stage the fans chant my name I look up at the signs with my name or certain songs like don't forget

"How's everybody doing tonight?" I ask into the mic I scan the crowed arena and see the flashes of people taking my picture the fans lift my sprit up and I'm singing my heart out 110% at the end I decide to sing the new song I just finished about Joe

"Hey, how would y'all like to hear a song I just wrote?" the crowd went wild screaming louder than before I smile

"Alright, this one's called Fix a Heart and I hope someone relates somewhere" I say into the mic before I turn to my dumbfounded band I grab a guitar and wave them a signal as to just stand by as I began the beat

It's probably what's best for you  
I only want the best for you  
And if I'm not the best, then you're stuck

I try to sever ties and I,  
Ended up with wounds to bind  
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts  
And I just ran out of Band-Aid's  
I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can't bandage the damage,  
You never really can fix a heart

Even though I know what's wrong,  
How can I be so sure  
If you never say what you feel, feel?  
I must have held your hand so tight,  
You didn't have the will to fight  
I guess you needed more time to heal  
[ Lyrics from: lyrics/d/demi_lovato/fix_a_ ]  
Baby I just ran out of Band-Aid's  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart

You must be a miracle worker,  
Swearin' up and down,  
You can't fix what's been broken, yeah  
Please don't get my hopes up, no no  
Baby, tell me how could you  
Be so cruel?

It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts

Baby, I just ran out of Band-Aid's  
I don't even know where to start  
'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart  
Baby, I just ran out of Band-Aid's  
I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can't bandage the damage  
You never really can fix a heart  
Oh no no no no  
You never really can fix a heart  
Oh no no no no  
You never really can fix heart

You never really can fix my heart

I turned and looked out to the side of the stage all of the Jonas family was there and they had big smiles on their face well except Joe

"Thank you guys, you're a wonderful audience and I love you all so much, now here are the Jonas Brothers" I yelled into the mic as the boys walked on stage I walked off I knew I would have to go back on to do on the line and wouldn't change a thing but right now in this moment I forgot all my pain and heartache I forgot the fact that my families more than 1,000 miles away and Both of my best friends Joe and Selena have washed their hands with me. For right now I was just coming down from the high of preforming and all the love I got from the fans and that would make me better if only for right now

_**(Disclaimer: I own nothing in this chapter, the one before and any future chapters)**_


	3. The Truth is reveled

Chapter three

"You were great out there demi" Paul Kevin Joe and Nick's dad told me as he picked me up and spun me around I giggled a real smile for the 1st time to day

"Thanks Mr. Jonas" I still insisted to call him and Denise Mr. and Mrs. Jonas

"Stop being so formal Demi, Call me papa Jonas, because let's face it you'll be my daughter-in-law one day" he said, he sounded so happy I almost couldn't tell him

"Did you tell anybody?" I asked Joe whose head popped up when those words left his dads mouth everyone's attention was now on us

"Mr. Jonas I'm sorry but I'm not going to be your daughter-in-law. Um, Joe and I are not together anymore"

"What is she talking about Joe?" his mother turned to him

"I broke up with demi earlier today" he mumbled

"Um good luck you guys I'm going to go wash my face" I said before I hugged Kevin and Nick kissing their cheeks in the process then exiting the room when I finally reached the bathroom I locked the door and looked at the deep wounds I made earlier, I can't believe Joe, how could he not care? I was his best friend for years I was the person he poured everything to when he felt I was the only one who could ever understand him, I'm the person who sat by his side after camellia broke his heart I stuck up for him after all those other girls that hearts he broke verbally attacked him, he's supposed to always be here for me. At this point I heard the boys start their 1st song and I heard the crowd go crazy like they always did and I knew I'd have to face Joe and everyone else sooner or later I can't always hide as much as I would like to. I stayed in the bathroom for a while as long as I could then I went back out there and sang on the line and wouldn't change a thing and then It was finally time to go back to the bus, great right?... Wrong, I have to go back to the bus I share with Nick Joe Frankie and Mr. and Mrs. Jonas

"Hey missy how you holding up?" Kevin asked right before I got on the bus and he went to the one he shared with his amazing wife Dani

"Yeah Kev I'm fine" I said looking into his eyes

"I'm serious Demi" he said searching my eyes

"I'll be fine, it's going to take some time but I'll get there" I said honestly

"Alright well let me know if you need me to beat him up" he said, and to be honest I wasn't sure if he was serious or not

"You know he's your brother shouldn't you be on I don't know his side?" I asked joking in my voice

"Well I'm your big brother to and right now you need me more than he does" he said bring me into a hug

"I love you Kev" I mumbled into his shoulder

"I love you too but hey you can stay on mine and Dani's bus if you want" he said trying to make me as comfortable as possible in the most uncomfortable situation

"Kevin look at me" I said pulling out of our hug and looking in his eyes

"I love what you're trying to do but I don't need a hero" I said

"Alright but if you do need someone to talk to you have mine and Dani's number so… just don't be afraid to call, Kay?"

"Yes Kevin" I said kissing his cheek for the 2nd time today and going to get on the bus

"I'll talk to you later" he called after me

"Hey Dems" Nick called to me when I stepped on the bus

"Yeah?"

"You know that new song you sang tonight?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have anymore?"

"Yes"

"Can I hear them?" by now the bus doors closed and I felt us move

"Yeah" I said as I sat next to him taking notice to Frankie sitting in front of the TV and Mrs. Jonas in the kitchen area

"Here" nick said handing me my guitar

"Thanks, well this one is called for the love of a daughter" I said while I stared to strum the beat on the guitar

Four years old with my back to the door,  
All I could hear was the family or war,  
Your selfish hands always expecting more,  
Am I your child,  
Or just a charity ward

You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless,  
Hopeless (Hopeless)  
You're hopeless

Oh, father  
Please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father  
Please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter

It's been five years since we've spoken last  
And you can't take back what we never had  
Oh, I can be manipulated only so many times  
Before even "I love you"  
Starts to sound like a lie  
[ Lyrics from: d/demi+lovato/for+the+love+of+a+daughter_ ]  
You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it  
But it's hopeless, (hopeless)  
You're hopeless

Oh, father  
Please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father  
Please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter

Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you push me out of your world?  
Lied to your flesh and your blood  
Put your hands on the ones that you swore you love

don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you throw me right out of your world?  
So young when the pain had begun  
Now forever afraid of being loved

Oh, father  
Please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father  
Please, father  
Oh, father  
Please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter

"Wow" Paul said stunned as I saw that he and Joe had joined us in some point of the song, everyone was just staring at me

"Your dad hit you?" Nick said coming out of his trance

"Yeah, like I told you guys earlier Nick you guys could never understand"

"Not that it would make it right but why did he hit you sweetie?" Mrs. Jonas asked

"Because I'm not pretty like My Mom and Dallas"

"I think you beautiful Demi" Frankie said

"Awe thank you Frankie that means a lot coming from you"

"So you haven't talked to him in 5 years?"

"Nope, not once but there is no love loss there he never loved me, so why love him?"

"Why haven't you ever said anything about him?" Paul asked

"Well he's not in my life, he's in Dallas' but he never wanted me until I became famous and then he went on an interview saying we were so close, he's no good and if I told you guys what the song did… I don't know I just couldn't bring myself to"

"That's why you flinch so easily" nick said thinking back my phone vibrated against my hip and I looked at the caller ID and sighed

"It's Dani" I said to nicks confused face

"Hello?"

"Hey sweetie Kevin told me are you sure you're alright?"

"Dani I love you but like I told Mister Kevin I am perfectly fine"

"He told me about the cuts Demi" she whispered

"He did what?" I yelled, I saw all eyes on me hoping Kevin was alright

"He is worried about you honey"

"He promised" I whispered about ready to cry

"I know and he won't tell his parents or Frankie or anything"

"I can stop anytime I want Dani" everyone looked at me confused

"It's not healthy you could kill yourself"

"I don't care if that happens anymore Dani my mom found out, you want to know what she did?, she kicked me out of her house saying to never talk to them again, she said that I was a freak, so please tell me why killing myself would be bad?"

"Because of your fans, your passion, career, the other people who love you"

"Dani I can't hear this right now okay?"

"Alright just know I'm here if you need someone to vent to, me and Kevin are here we love you we care"

"I love you guys to, thanks bye" and with that I hung up

"Frankie can you go in the back room for a while?" Denise asked

"Why do Joe and Nick get to stay, no fair" he complained while going to where he was told

"Demi, sweetie why did your mom kick you out?" Denise asked

"Because she didn't like what I was doing and didn't care she just wanted me out"

"Your only 17" Nick spoke

"Yeah but I could corrupt her perfect children, I was the embarrassment of her family"

"She found you cutting? Well you didn't do a very good job did you demi?" Joe said smugly laughing I could hit him

"Cutting like your body?" Paul asked not believing his son I looked down I couldn't look them in the eyes then I nodded yes, I heard Denise gasp, Joe chuckle and I felt nick rub my back

"Will you stop laughing" I yelled at Joe

"I've had just about all I can take with you today, when you found out earlier you just kept looking at your phone glaring at me, and then you said I was only doing this for attention, now you're making fun of me? You used to be my best friend Joe and I used to be yours when all those girls that you hurt were verbally attacking you I was the one who stuck up for, thinking you just didn't find the right girl yet. But it wasn't the girl at all, you're just scared you might actually fall in love and I don't know why and I tried to be enough for you. I love you Joe and you know that, so stop acting like I hurt you and your trying to hurt me back my making fun of me and glaring at me because I didn't hurt you and if I did I didn't mean it and I'm sorry but you know you hurt me and you don't even care I was your best friend and this has been one of the worst years of my life and you make me the butt end of your joke and I'm done" I yelled at Joe he just looked shock along with everyone else and I ran off in tears onto the bathroom to do something that I said I had under control and I honestly knew it was slipping out of it fast


	4. confrontation

Chapter 4

"Demi, come on, you have to come out of there" I heard Paul's voice come through the wooden door, they had been begging me not to cut again since around 5 minutes after I stormed out, little did they know it was too late and I already added two new cuts to my collection, I just wanted to hear his voice, telling me he was sorry and that our love could overcome anything, that he was going to be there for me, I just wanted to be in his arms again to feel safe and protected, but when I heard Papa J's voice, It sounded broken and scared, I didn't want any of them to cry, especially over me, Paul and Denise were like my parents, only they cared about me and loved me, it was real with them, so when his broken voice rung, I knew it was time to face my demons

"I'm sorry" I said as I stepped out of the bathroom, Nick Denise and Paul were all crowded around the bathroom door while Joe stood in his original spot texting, like my word meant nothing to him, Denise brought me into a motherly hug

"It's okay to cry" She whispered in my ear even though I knew the whole bus could hear

"No its not, not to you guys, I think what hurts the most is not having someone to tell everything to, Selena and Joe, were well my rock, they promised to be here forever and they are gone, your son, is not the guy I fell in love with, that guy was my best friend and Selena, her and my mother are boycotting my even existence to a fire squad" I said still in my place in her arms tears building up with tears she was rubbing my back letting me get everything out in the open, I closed my eyes shutting them tight, while I willed the tears to go away and the rest of the world to vanish, I felt all eyes on me and Denise

"I don't know what to do, I'm that girl again, the girl I was before the music, before you guys changed my life, I'm back to being not important again because in reality I'm not, I can't keep a friend and my family turned their backs I'm all alone, and I feel numb, I can't even write my feelings in a song anymore so I pick up an old habit something that caused an emotion I could feel AND control, and in those few seconds I feel normal again "I felt dizzy and sick as I vented and she or should I say the whole bus listened

"But I can control it, so I'll be fine I quit once I can do it again, I just need some sleep, I need today to be over with so I'm going to get some sleep, good night, thanks for listening everyone I love you" Denise Paul and Nick thought it was to them and in all honesty I guess it was but, my heart, my heart finally told my mind to send a message to my mouth to say how I really felt about Joe I will always love Joe Jonas, I thought as I crawled up into my bunk and silently cried myself to sleep

I woke up around 3 in the morning my head still felt cloudy and my stomach still felt sick so I got up to get a drink of water, but when my feet hit the ground I came face to face with a certain hazel eyed beauty I'd hope to avoid for a while, he looked hesitant as I walked toward him, only because he was standing next to the fridge,

"Don't worry I won't talk to you I just need something to drink" I said as I reached my destination but grabbed the wall when my dizziness overcame me I reached out and opened the fridge squinting at the light and realizing this horrible pain I feel in my head, I grab my head with one hand and try to think of other things maybe I just need a few Advil so I grabbed a water bottle and the bottle of Advil on the counter I stumbled and went to grab the wall I was too late as I felt my body hurling onto the ground I braced myself expecting to feel pain but nothing I felt arms encase me and looked up to find Joe holding me I just jerked myself out of his hold

"Thanks, but you should have let me fall" metaphorically and literally

"I told you I would always catch you Demi and I meant it" his voice was sweet and innocent, this was my Joe, not the Joe from my dressing room whose voice was cold and hard

"Don't," I mumbled threw my teeth as he stepped closer to me

"Don't do that, don't pretend to care, Joe don't pretend to be my best friend, because the guy I saw today wasn't, my best friend was sweet and compassionate that Joe, was cruel and cold" I said stepping back

"Demi I never meant to hurt you" he said his eyes pleading forgiveness, this made me laugh without humor

"You didn't mean to hurt me Joe.? Which part was not meant to hurt Me.? When you told your parents and little brother my secret or how about when you basically called me an attention whore.? Oh wait maybe what wasn't supposed to hurt me was when you laughed at my cuts, you know what Joe your right I must just be too sensitive ill know better than to let my next boyfriend in, Thanks for the life lesson" I went to walk away but he grabbed my wrist pulling stopping me

"Don't do that, don't talk about future boyfriends.!" He said throwing his hands up in the air dropping my wrist in the process

"You were supposed to be mine and mine only"

"Well you ruined that when you broke up with me Joe.!" I yelled momentarily forgetting people were asleep

"You gave yourself to me Demi, emotionally physically spiritually.! You can't take that back"

"I wish I could Joe, I really do because now something I was sure I wouldn't regret I do" I said threw my teeth again as I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes threatening to fall

"No you don't, you're just saying that because your upset, Demi you love me" I chuckled again without humor

"yeah, your right Joe I do love you and I hate myself for it, because its obvious you never loved me , and I do regret it because I feel dirty now, and no matter how much I scrubbed that filth won't come off its staying there forever because I was stupid to give so much of myself to you, it's not supposed to be like this Joe, it's really not you knew this wasn't working for you and so you went and slept with me and I thought everything was fine, heck I thought it was the best it has ever been but that's just me being naïve huh.? You never loved me and that's obvious so don't stand here and lie to my face Joe, because I can't take it" I said as the tears slid down my face and soaking into my tank top Joe reached over and tried to wipe away the never ending stream of tears but I stepped back

"Don't touch me, I'm going to go to sleep, and you should to, were scheduled have to be on Ellen tomorrow and you have to tell everyone we are no longer together, good night Joe" I said and I slid into my bunk, the water and aspirin long forgotten on the table and the heart break building more and more in my chest.


	5. The Doctor

Chapter 5

"Please welcome out Demi Lovato and the Jonas Brothers" Ellen stands and yells to the already enthusiastic crowd I walk out followed by Nick then Joe and finally Kevin, Ellen hugs us before we sit down

"So I'm so happy that you all are here" she says smiling at us but her eyes show confusion

"Were happy to be here" Nick reply's

"So I have a whole bunch of questions but now one I didn't plan on and we all want to know…What's up with Jemi.?" I wanted to laugh, I always loved Ellen even as a kid watching her always made me laugh, today she was short sweet and to the point but she's Ellen so we expected that

"Um well we are no longer together" Joe stuttered out, I had to tell his family, he got to tell our fan base

"Wow well I have to tell you this is honestly the 1st time a couple came together to announce their brake up" we all laughed a little I mean she's right this isn't exactly normal

"Well we're sorry to hear that, aren't we Jemi fans.?" She asked the crowd who just screamed

"It happens but thanks, and don't worry Ellen we're still going to perform for you guys today" I said shining my fake smile

"Well that's great to hear" she said smiling back at me she leaned over in her chair and put her hand over mine, realizing my smile didn't reach my eyes.

"Well like I once told Taylor Swift after they broke up, he has 2 brothers you could go after, okay now it's one but still" she laughed leaning back into her chair while her eyes darted between Nick and I, We all laughed well everyone but Joe

"No Nick and I are nothing more than a brother and sister relationship right Nick.?" I asked looking at Nick smiling he threw his arm around me and laughed

"Right Demi, that's just weird" I doubled over in pain but laughed to make it look like I was crunching forward laughing

"So we can say there is No Nemi, and No Jemi 2.0?" she asked I just shook my head no nicks arm genteelly squeezed me in a sign of comfort and I just smiled at him in return

"Alright then well let's talk about the tour" Ellen said changing the subject which I was very thankful for

"Wow that was an interview that will never be forgotten huh.?" Nick laughed as we got back on the bus

"Yeah" I answered this time Kevin and Dani would be riding with us until we got to the hotel we would be staying in for the night I sat down on the couch until the pain in my stomach came back and I gasped

"What's wrong are you alright Demi?" Dani sat down next to me worried everyone crowded around us as she rubbed my back

"Demi, sweetheart, you have to tell us what's wrong" Paul said sitting on the other side of me I tried to talk but couldn't so I scrunched my eyes closed and waited for the pain to pass, about 5 minutes later I was finally able to talk.

"I'm sorry guys I don't know why that keeps happening" I said taking slow shallow breaths

"That's happened before?" Kevin asked going into full big brother mode as he was sitting on his knees on the floor in front of me I reached over to him and put my hand on his cheek I tried my best to smile at him

"Yeah but it's fine" I said taking my hand back from his face

"How do you know, it could be something really wrong, why didn't you tell somebody?" Nick asked, that's when I realized that this is a family a real family where everyone cares for each other and they all expect that you tell them when something isn't right

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal, it's only been like 2 days that the pains been there but I think it's getting worse" I said as the dull ach made itself known again Dani's hands still rubbed up and down on my back and I tried to lay back

"I'm tired" I said as I began to doze off as I notice Joe finally come into the group of concerned people and just look at me, his expression was unread able so I just gave him a smile or what I could muster up of one, Paul just got up to make a phone call and Joe sits down next to me where his dad was with Dani still on my other side Joe pulls me closer to him letting my head rest on his chest and his arm is around me and honestly I'm too tired to fight with his so I just close my eyes letting sleep take me over

"Did you get an appointment?" I heard Denise ask as I came out of my slumber

"Yeah the doctor is going to come to the hotel so she can rest" I heard Paul respond, Doctor? I questioned to myself I was just about to move when I heard Kevin's voice a question I wanted to know the answer to

"What are you doing Joe?" his voice hard

"What do you mean?" I felt the vibrations from him voice and I almost giggled like old times but didn't

"Why are you sitting here holding her, why are you messing with Demi?" Kevin questioned again and I felt Joe sigh

"I'm not messing with her, I love her" I felt him say again the vibration still relaxed me like it has for almost a year

"Then why did you break up with her?" I heard Nick ask kind of ticked off

"Because, it wasn't fun anymore, I cared about her, I don't want her to be with anyone else I love her, but I don't think I'm in love with her, or ever have been for that matter, I think I wanted to be but wasn't" he said and that broke my heart

"Then why did you rush to her side like you did, you looked terrified and on a different level then me or nick heck even mom or dad, you looked like Mom did when dad got into that car accident a few years ago" I didn't believe it and I wished I was asleep especially after what I heard him say next

"Okay I lied, I don't know what I feel for Demi but I do Know it wasn't fun anymore and I met someone else, with her it was fun, and new" Joe said honestly I knew that voice he was being honest

"I don't know what's worse you leading Demi on saying you don't want her to date or replacing her" I heard Nick say mad oh no I thought

"I'm not replacing her Nick; I can't help how I feel!" Joe yelled and I figure this would be a good time for me to 'wake up' I slowly opened my eyes and Kevin was the 1st to notice

"Hey, pretty girl how you feeling?" he asked the anger no longer on his or Nicks face I couldn't see Joes face but I look around the room to see everyone looking over at me as I look around I realize I'm still in Joes arms so I gently shrug his arms off and move over a little bit

"Better I think" I say the lump I feel growing in my throat helps the groggy sound in my voice I would get if I had just woken up I move to stand up and immediately felt sick and I run into the bathroom with not enough time to close the door and empty my breakfast into the toilet I groan and rest my hand on the wall

"You jinxed me" I groaned at Kevin as I felt him rub my back and also held my hair back while I was sick I looked up smiling at Dani

"You should keep him" I joke weakly her Kevin and Nick laugh at my attempt at a Joke

"Demi the Doctor will be waiting for you in your room when we get to the hotel" I groaned again

"But I'm fine" I lied

"Don't lie to me young lady" Paul spoke

"Okay I'm sorry" I mumbled as Kevin picked me up and laid me down on the couch

"Get some rest Dems we'll wake you up when we get there it shouldn't be long" Dani Promises as she sits down on the floor next to the couch and holds my hand silent letting me know that everything will be okay

"Demi, Demi wake up" I hear the distant voice of Nick coming closer and closer as I slowly open my eyes

"Were at the Hotel, do you think you could walk or do you want one of us to carry you?" Nick asked I sat up slowly registering his question

"I can walk" I think I add silently, we pretty much got into the suite without any problem this place is huge it has 6 bedrooms a kitchen a living room and a dining room while the doctor sat on the couch waiting for us

"Hello it's a pleasure to meet you all I'm Dr. Scott" he said standing up

"Well I'm Paul this is my wife Denise our kids Kevin, Joe, Nick and Frankie" he said pointing

"Then we have Danielle Kevin's wife and this is Demi" Paul introduced everyone

"Ah Miss. Lovato please sit down and we'll start the normal part to see if I can get a look at what to check out 1st please what's been the problem?" he asked as I sat down and he took a seat Next to me

"Um well it feels like something is stabbing me in my stomach and when that calms down its achy so it always hurts um I've threw up earlier that's about it no fever oh and I'm tired but that could have just been the tour schedule" I finish up

"Can you lay back for me?" he asked standing up and I laid back he lifted my shirt up and started to push on my stomach

"Tell me if it hurts" he said pushing around some more he got to the middle and I whimpered

"did that hurt?" he asked looking at me and I just nodded

"Well Miss. Lovato when was the last time you had your period?" he asked looking at me I glanced around the room looking uncomfortable

"In front of everyone?" I asked and he nodded

"um well" I sat up and pulled my shirt down trying to remember

"I don't remember" I said stumped he sighed and sat down next to me

"Demi, is it okay I call you that?" he stopped and asked me I just nodded

"Demi, I can't be sure unless you come with me to the hospital is that okay? You shouldn't have to stay long" he promised and I just looked up at Paul and Denise

"It's the only way to be sure" Paul reassured me so I stood up

"Let's go" I mumbled defeated

"You all stay here, me and your mother are going with Demi" Paul said looking at the others

"But dad" Nick started but was cut off

"No Nick stay here we will call and keep you posted we should be back soon" Denise reassured her son I'm pretty sure everyone saw how scared I was. Denise grabbed my hand

"Come on honey it will all be okay" she comforted me as she dragged me out the door with Paul and Dr. Scott following close behind I heard multiple 'I love you Dems' or 'it will all be okay' but I didn't hear the one voice that would have made anything I hear at the hospital okay. I didn't hear his velvet like voice tell me everything will be alright and that he loved me, I swear he breaks me more and more every time I see him


	6. What am i gonna do?

Chapter 6

As we arrive at the hospital, I'm a complete wreck, what's wrong with me? I'm shaking as Denise puts her hand on my knee

"It's going to be okay" she tried again she sends Paul a look and he tried next

"It's going to be alright, Denise and I are here, we are your family" he said I smiled up at him

"Thanks" that did help a little; I'm a little calmer when Dr. Scott returns back into the room we are placed in pulling a large machine behind him

"Okay Demi I'm going to do an ultra sound, Mr. and Mrs. Jonas will you please step out?" he asked

"We'll be right outside the door we promise" Paul began and Denise squeezed my hand one last time before releasing it and steeping out of the room, Dr. Scott started by leaning the bed down more into the laying position

"Okay, this might be a little cold" he warned as he pulled my shirt up and put the thick ice cold blue gel on my stomach, 'A little cold!' I thought as he started to rub the probe around while watching on the screen, it was dead silent as he looked for any sign of abnormalities

"Do you see you that little white blob?" he asked startling me pointing to the screen, I just nodded

"That's your baby" I think I stopped breathing

"What!" I coughed out after a minute or so

"You're pregnant" he insisted

"No that can't be right" I argued

"I assure you its 100 percent accurate" he stated calmly as he printed out the pictures and turned off the machine

"Then why am I in so much pain?" I asked defeated

"Just some growing pains, but I am going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins and I also would like you to know that since you are underage and, Mr. and Mrs. Jonas are your legal guardians for the tour, then one of them has to sign your release form which also includes your condition and handing them your prescription so I'm asking if you want me to tell them or if you want to?" he explained

"It might be better coming from me huh?" I wonder aloud he just smiles and nods before opening the door and motioning for Paul and Denise to join us, they were right away at my side both holding one of my hands, which made my news even harder to tell

"Did they find anything?" Denise asked just as scared as I was

"Yes" I muttered

"I'm going to give you guys a minute alone while I go and draw up her release forms and wright out that prescription" Dr. Scott mentioned before walking out of the room closing the door behind him

"What is it Demi?" Paul asked as my heart rate starts to pick up

"Please don't hate me" I begged scared of their reaction

"Demi we could never hate you, what's going on?" Denise asked growing even more worried than before

"I'm Pregnant" I blurt out Paul and Denise faces paled and Denise's grip on my hand tightened

"Is Dr. Scott sure?" Paul asked sitting down on my hospital bed I just nodded

"And it's Joe?" I wanted to be offended he even asked but I know he meant no harm I nodded again to answer his question

"We're all going to be here for you especially Joe, I promise" Denise ensured me I just closed my eyes trying to will my voice to work

"How can you be sure he won't hate me, how can you be sure everyone else wont hate me to, I'm ruining everything, his career, Nick and Kevin's careers, their dream" I said getting all worked up

"Hey don't think like that" Denise said

"Why don't we just go back to the hotel, we can talk more when we get there" Paul said, he just looked disappointed and it broke my heart, I sat up and threw my legs off the side of the bed and reached my arms toward Paul, he smiled and hugs me letting me know that everything was going to be okay. I took comfort in him and held on tighter

"Denise will go see what's taking Dr. Scott so long with her paper work?" he asked as he pulled me a little closer. The next thing I know were in the car on the way to the hotel, I briefly remember Dr. Scott saying I was about 6 weeks along what am I going to do? I ask myself for the hundredth time as I look at the sonogram of my baby, I'm so deep in thought I almost didn't realize we have reached our destination

"Guy's is it okay if I tell everyone?" they both glance at each other

"Yeah honey that's okay" Denise says smiling at me

"Can I take a nap 1st?" I asked trying to stall for time

"I don't think they will all wait that long, but I do think the 1st thing you should do when we get in the suite is pull Joe in a room and tell him before we tell everyone" Paul said I just nod, knowing I had to get this over with, I shake the whole 5 minute walk up to the suite hoping this all doesn't blow up in my face I put my hand on my stomach as Paul and Denise watch me closely

"Let's go tell daddy" Denise and Paul smile as Denise puts her arm around me and Paul opens the door

"DEMI!" I heard Frankie's voice scream before anyone else had noticed we were home they all got up and walk toward me, I didn't stop though I walked up next to Joe and felt everyone's eyes one me

"Can we talk in the other room real quick?" I ask as he nods grabbing my arm and gently pulls me into his room in the hotel

"What's up?" he asked acting like this New Joe, hard and cold I open my purse and hand him the sonogram

"I just thought you should know 1st" I said as he looked at it he was pale and looked like he was going to pass out

"What? Demi please tell me this isn't what I think it is" he begged confused, fear evident in his voice

"I'm pregnant Joe, we're pregnant" he roughly sat down on his bed still looking at the sonogram but now with amazement

"Please say something" I pleaded

"Who" he tries but his voice cracks so he clears his throat and tries again

"Who all knows?" he asked with a shaky voice

"Your mom and dad, Dr. Scott and us, but we have to tell Kevin Dani Nick and Frankie when we go out in the living room" he groaned

"Kevin is going to kill me" he quietly mumbled more to himself then me

"I'm sorry" I said as tears started down my face this brought his attention back to me

"Demi, it's not your fault, please don't cry" he said as he stood up and pulled me into his embrace

"I'm so scared Joe, I can't do this alone" I sobbed into his chest

"You're not alone you have everyone in that living room, your fans and me" he said sweetly, this was my Joe kind and worried how I was

"Come on Demi girl, stop crying I'm right here and all the stress can't be good for the baby" he soothed me he sat back down on his bed and pulled me into his lap, but I still soaked his shirt with my tears

"Stupid hormones" I sob into the gap between his shoulder and neck, his cologne and the melody he was humming into my ear slowly relaxed me.

"Are you tired?" he asked as slightly rocked me back and forth I nod

"Try and get some sleep" he suggested my hold on him tighten

"I'm not going anywhere get some sleep" he promised

"I can't we have to tell the others" he contemplated for a moment

"Okay but when we get done we're coming right back in here so you can lay down and sleep"

"You don't have to do that Joe I can go sleep in my room" I didn't want to over step with him or be too greedy

"I want you to, I want to keep an eye out for you in case you need something now come on" he said standing us up

"The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can sleep" he promised I walked over to the bed as he walked over to the door and I grabbed the picture of our baby so I could show everyone Joe just laughed and motioned me to go through the door 1st

"Hey guys" I said as we came into the living room Kevin Dani, Frankie, Paul and Denise were all sitting on the couch and Nick sat in one of the lounge chairs next to the couch they all waited patiently for this 'family meeting' to happen

"You guys have the floor" Paul said as we stood in the center of the living room looking at each face of the people we love as an eerie silence surrounded us

"I'm Pregnant" I spoke clear, I handed the sonogram picture I had in my hand to Dani and pulled out a few more from my purse passing them around, it all seemed so fictional to me, I'm Demi Lovato for crying out loud and here I am passing around my 1st sonogram picture to the closest thing to family I have who just so happen to the uncles and grandparents and aunt to my child, mine and Joe's Child.


End file.
